tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post4444951921177194941..comments2023-10-30T08:40:59.016-04:00Comments on Wolfish Musings: High School Yet Again... One More Fear Of MineBrooklynWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-38260719882948876542006-11-28T00:56:00.000-05:002006-11-28T00:56:00.000-05:00With few exceptions, my learning in high school wa...<i>With few exceptions, my learning in high school was pretty non-existent.</i><br /><br />That's exactly like my yeshiva high school experience! Similarly, the hanhalah at my yeshiva (Philly) did not take the slightest interest in me until a few weeks before graduation, when suddenly they became very concerned about my future. By the time I left yeshiva, I never wanted to look at a Gemarah again, and for the most part I never have.<br /><br />Anyway, I really think you have to try to play to a kid's strengths, while not neglecting the weaknesses. A person, especially a teenager, needs to feel like they are succeeding rather than failing, progressing rather than stagnating. If your son likes animals, and likes to read/write, then you try to play to those strengths and interests. A high school with a good biology program and good creative writing would seem appropriate to me, but I don't know whether we have such things in the frum world. Ah well...Big-S Skeptichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11592881477466761046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-43328009796961458062006-11-20T20:51:00.000-05:002006-11-20T20:51:00.000-05:00Look at Ezzie. He is not the exception. He is the ...<i>Look at Ezzie. He is not the exception. He is the rule.</i><br /><br />Wow. I just saw this. That's really really complimentary, and I think undeserving. I should note that - after a nice discussion about this with a friend over Shabbos - I'm somewhat of an exception in many areas, but that's because many of my friends were and are a heck of a lot better than me.<br /><br /><br /><br />Weird. I could have sworn I left a comment here last week. I'm almost positive... argh. Basically, you can always tell the schools you're applying to what the situation is and why you may have trouble with a recommendation. Schools are very understanding...Ezziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12494592434522239195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-34882523874455901632006-11-15T13:34:00.000-05:002006-11-15T13:34:00.000-05:00Wolf:
I did not mean to "scare" you and I really ...Wolf:<br /><br />I did not mean to "scare" you and I really have no experience with your situation. I was only responding to the issues you raised and a way to deal with them if you "believe" they are valid concerns. <br /><br />As others have mentioned, there is likely nothing to worry about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-72263185640120198182006-11-15T11:16:00.000-05:002006-11-15T11:16:00.000-05:00We had very similar issues when it came to getting...We had very similar issues when it came to getting Fudge out of HS. If you read her blog, you know she's a very talented, intelligent, funny, and relatively prudish (thank G-d) girl who is flourishing in YU.<br /><br />However, in the Beis Yaakov style HS she went to, she was most definitely a square peg, and her teachers were working hard to round her edges. This was leading to a lot of unhappiness for all of us, and Mrs. B and I decided that by 11th grade the potential for damage was greater than our need to keep our daughter in town, so we started working on early admissions at Stern.<br /><br />Aside from the fact that we were unaware the Early Admissions was becoming frowned on (I was in EAP 20 years ago), we met some resistance from the HS in that they did not care for YU AT ALL, and wanted her to stay another year and then go to Seminary.<br /><br />Knowing my daughter, that would have been disastrous to her self-esteem and her future. We did have concerns that the hanhala would sabotage our efforts to get her in, especially since Stern was now scrutinizing EA applicants much more...sternly (oy, sorry).<br /><br />In the end though (and after several meetings where we tried to be painfully complimentary to the HS ("It's not you, it's her,")), they played ball and wrote her a letter of recommendation, but it was very vague and not the glowing type of letter that someone with Fudge's obvious talents deserved. Nevertheless, we took what we could get.<br /><br />Bottom line, it is VITAL to match the school to the kid. A trouble maker in one school can be a star pupil in another.<br /><br />BTW, I tried to post something on the other HS post but blogger ate it.<br /><br />I would be happy to have your son for out shabboses if he came to WITS. But I understand the need to keep kids close to home. We chose WITS primarily for that reason. However, I have to say that i have been very happy with the school and with the types of graduates it turns out. Look at Ezzie. He is not the exception. He is the rule.PsychoToddlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00874353280798371891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-44096690721973549862006-11-15T10:03:00.000-05:002006-11-15T10:03:00.000-05:00I would approach the schools you are interested in...I would approach the schools you are interested in directly and speak to them about your son's interests outside of Torah and let them know you are looking at their school because you would like these interests to be encouraged rather than "knocked" and that is why you are applying. You can also tell them that the current school wants counseling becaue of those interests. <br /><br />Maybe if you approach the school directly, they will work with you, or at least take whatever the current menahel says with a grain of salt. <br /><br />Goodluck and I personally wouldn't want to send away, so I understand why you aren't considering doing so.Orthonomicshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-24650435731603234532006-11-15T09:41:00.000-05:002006-11-15T09:41:00.000-05:00Yes, dear. :)
The WolfYes, dear. :)<br /><br />The WolfBrooklynWolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-10405834439610088312006-11-15T09:37:00.000-05:002006-11-15T09:37:00.000-05:00We kinda have to give the Menahel the applications...We kinda have to give the Menahel the applications soon, or we won't have a chance of meeting the deadline at all. If we give it in ASAP, at least we can troubleshoot if they give us any problems.<br />We have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying. If the applications remain on the dining room table, then the Menahel will never get a chance to refuse to fill it out, and the end result will be that they don't get to the high schools. If you give it to him, he may surprise us. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-2781602118989906482006-11-14T22:50:00.000-05:002006-11-14T22:50:00.000-05:00I've heard of this sort of thing before--and so ha...I've heard of this sort of thing before--and so have the principals of the schools your son is applying to attend. If something is amiss, they will probably realize what is going on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-30027460095807181712006-11-14T19:29:00.000-05:002006-11-14T19:29:00.000-05:00You are just being paranoid-It shows the power of ...You are just being paranoid-It shows the power of the past,especially when traumatic.<br />But of course paranoids are sometimes correct.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-47649305168895144852006-11-14T18:19:00.000-05:002006-11-14T18:19:00.000-05:00Interesting idea, proudmommy. However, the menahe...Interesting idea, proudmommy. However, the menahel is pretty new (he just took over last January) and so probably wouldn't have too much of a track record.<br /><br />To be honest, now I'm *really* getting scared. I was really expecting everyone to say "nah, you're just being paranoid." The fact that most of the posters (especially, the Answer, whom I know to be a very down-to-earth person) seemed to think that I may have a real concern is somewhat frightening.<br /><br />The WolfBrooklynWolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-33841072487369257762006-11-14T16:17:00.000-05:002006-11-14T16:17:00.000-05:00One thought - you might want to approach the princ...One thought - you might want to approach the principals of the schools to which you are applying, and ask them if they've had problems with the applications of kids from your son's Yeshiva. Chances are, if the menahel is the obstructive sort, the high schools already know about that and will hopefully work with you with that in mind.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-11168403687640428132006-11-13T23:24:00.000-05:002006-11-13T23:24:00.000-05:00In elementary and high school I was the same way--...In elementary and high school I was the same way-- I was great when the subject matter was interesting, and my grades dropped when it wasn't. I was interested in all sorts of other things and read a lot. My elementary school rabbeim thought I was lazy. But now I'm in college, and the higher-ups think I'm creative and they like that I think out of the box. The dean is getting to know me personally and he is enhralled by the fact that I am breaking the mold by going for something like graphic design, something most people in YU don't think about. In short, I think that having outside interests is amazing and should be celebrated. You can't go by the books your whole life, and it's the creative ones who get ahead.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-52932245984235201762006-11-13T18:37:00.000-05:002006-11-13T18:37:00.000-05:00bw
are you sure he doesnt have learning issues?
al...bw<br />are you sure he doesnt have learning issues?<br />alot of parents always say, oh my son is lazy or if only he would try harder, or he doesnt seem interested.<br /><br />the reason it appears that way is learning issues. the kid is bright, but his brain isnt wired to learn correctly or efficiently. its too much work. so he says he isnt interested as a defense mechanism. <br />i posted about the arrowsmith program (http://www.arrowsmithschool.org) that HALB is currently doing. it addresses learning issues by correcting them rather than compensating for them.<br />all the kids enrolled are average to above average intelligence, some of whom have now been selected to enter the E2K Math program.topshadchanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07153946018043229765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-86167075973808991712006-11-13T18:30:00.000-05:002006-11-13T18:30:00.000-05:00bw
first of all the five towns jewish times had an...bw<br />first of all the five towns jewish times had an article about one parent travails regarding his sons principal not writing a recommendation to a school in israel, and threatening the school in israel to not take this boy in, otherwise he will never recommend anyone to that yeshiva.<br /><br />secondly, did you check out DRS in woodmere? i hear its great.topshadchanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07153946018043229765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-31207688211450965582006-11-13T18:13:00.000-05:002006-11-13T18:13:00.000-05:00Anon,
I don't think all Roshei Yeshivos are disho...Anon,<br /><br />I don't think all Roshei Yeshivos are dishonest. If that's what you got out of my post, then I apologize... that wasn't the point. <br /><br />I believe that the places that we are looking to send him to, being more open, will provide a positive experience for him.<br /><br />We don't believe that sending him to public school is the answer. He needs a Torah education -- and a better one than a simple tutor can provide.<br /><br />The WolfBrooklynWolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-79477384011066570782006-11-13T18:08:00.000-05:002006-11-13T18:08:00.000-05:00why would you want to subject your son to the same...why would you want to subject your son to the same dishonest and abusive situation you were in, and damage his desire to learn. From someone who's been there, I'd suggest you sent him to a secular school and let him learn everything Jewuish from you and a competent tutor with whom he can freely discuss his points of view.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-62711302849196086492006-11-13T14:56:00.000-05:002006-11-13T14:56:00.000-05:00I've heard good things about Yesodei Yeshurun in Q...I've heard good things about Yesodei Yeshurun in Queens.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-14987940050165782042006-11-13T14:05:00.000-05:002006-11-13T14:05:00.000-05:00I definitely hear your concern. But I think the p...I definitely hear your concern. But I think the personality of the menahel would determine his conduct here. <br /><br />Since you are concerned, is it out of the question to "talk" with your Menahel and explain your decision and goal for your son in this yeshiva? Also discuss the importance of the recommendation letter and try to get feedback as to what he may say. That would give you a clue as to what will happen and allow you to react before it is too late.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com