tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post1284174962742854753..comments2023-10-30T08:40:59.016-04:00Comments on Wolfish Musings: A Rant on Parental Responsibility and My Son's ClassmatesBrooklynWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-18292294887097305672007-03-08T21:55:00.000-05:002007-03-08T21:55:00.000-05:00I think you're doing absolutely the right thing. ...I think you're doing absolutely the right thing. You're teaching your kids how to discriminate.<BR/><BR/>It is not a black and white world, no matter how much the "black" community wants to make it that way. You can't shield your kids from everything. Sooner or later, they will be exposed to the real world, and have to know where to draw their lines.<BR/><BR/>These communities you describe want to outlaw everything. Therefore to these kids, there are no boundaries. Everything is taboo, therefore everything is desirable. It just doesn't work.<BR/><BR/>What was it Captain Kirk said? "There are a thousand things in this Galaxy you can have, and there are a thousand things you can't have." Happiness is understanding which is which. Oops, TV again. never mind.PsychoToddlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00874353280798371891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-51462513021848607652007-03-08T13:30:00.000-05:002007-03-08T13:30:00.000-05:00It's the focus on externals again. Your public mo...It's the focus on externals again. Your public movie attendance, admitted TV ownership and mode of dress are perceived as "lower" than others. While one (my) can certainly argue against these practices, the fact remains they do not "make" the person, or child, as much as other influences having to do with attitude / midos ,respect, and general yiras shomaim. So these good aspects are able to prevail because they are more important. I suspect your child's friends are missing some of these.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-6511151235210614222007-03-08T13:08:00.000-05:002007-03-08T13:08:00.000-05:00OK, then, what solution has been shown to work?OK, then, what solution has been shown to work?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-72277918155435488952007-03-07T19:44:00.000-05:002007-03-07T19:44:00.000-05:00This was a great, important post.It really is iron...This was a great, important post.<BR/><BR/>It really is ironic that a household such as yours where you and your wife are clearly so vigilant and involved with your kids is maligned as second-rate based on criteria that obviously falls short. <BR/><BR/>It is not an easy thing to toe the line and not live in absolutes on one side of the fence or the other, but I have a feeling that your kids will appreciate and value this approach in the long term, and that you'll be sleeping a lot better at night than some of these other parents in 4-5 years.RaggedyMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01022064984702182705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-71926524525566895422007-03-07T11:54:00.001-05:002007-03-07T11:54:00.001-05:00Unfortunately there are many parents today who jus...Unfortunately there are many parents today who just ban and ban and expect the yeshivot to raise their children. Like you, we are trying to take active roles, demonstrate moderation, and be vigilant. <BR/><BR/>One thing I don't see us doing is providing our kids with cell phones. I'm not of the "banning" variety, but I sometimes wonder if providing them with that type of freedom is just asking for it. Unfortunately, things have changed so much I'm not sure if land lines will even exist years from now.<BR/><BR/>Your kids will thank you later I'm sure.Orthonomicshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07892074485262548496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-73367246642974959112007-03-07T11:54:00.000-05:002007-03-07T11:54:00.000-05:00Are you that naive? You are doing what is right f...Are you that naive? You are doing what is right for your child, following your own standards and that's as it should be. To think that the yeshiva is a model for living in the real world is delusional. You can see that while yeshiva personnel are good at making parents feel bad for not following thier view of how life should be lived, they have no clue as to the reality of what kids have in mind and how they go about finding what they want to find. Keep up the good work as a parent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-51083472440137430412007-03-07T02:25:00.000-05:002007-03-07T02:25:00.000-05:00It is quite sad that this is what happens in the Y...It is quite sad that this is what happens in the Yeshiva. As long as the parents and admin. turn a blind eye to these types of situations nothing will ever be done. I know where I work the menahel is oblivious..and probably due to the fact that the real troublemakers and ones who are really watching tv and internet are the movers and shakers in the communityMarried and Navigating Jewish Brooklynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07175485110023780073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-5921329113254712892007-03-06T21:23:00.000-05:002007-03-06T21:23:00.000-05:00:::BALANCE!:::or me, who openly has a television, ...:::BALANCE!:::<BR/><BR/><I>or me, who openly has a television, who openly goes to movies (although my kids don't) and who does his level best our guide our children in what they should watch and see and try to teach them that some media are just inappropriate for them at the present time?</I><BR/><BR/>...which is why your kids don't do more. Sometimes, it really *is* that simple.Ezziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12494592434522239195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-81983051688686670112007-03-06T20:34:00.000-05:002007-03-06T20:34:00.000-05:00you've just demonstrated the greatness of moderati...you've just demonstrated the greatness of moderation.Steg (dos iz nit der šteg)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07694556690190505030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-27213191835455954212007-03-06T20:33:00.000-05:002007-03-06T20:33:00.000-05:00i really feel for you. there are complexities and...i really feel for you. there are complexities and levels of deception and self-deception in the orthodox community that are baffling to say the least, and psychosis inducing at the worst. i feel that there are ever shifting levels of reality that are presented by the schools with utmost confidence and authority, but then it turns out that things do not match with reality. i think that a lot has to do with a top down approach to things: bringing a model to things and concluding that things are such and such based on the model ( for example, if sb has tv he has to be liberal, lax etc) ; as opposed to a more empirical ,fact based approach, bottom -up so to speak. <BR/>these are jsut some thoughts that your comments triggered in me.eglantinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09109188899859707682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-31270852620312029772007-03-06T19:42:00.000-05:002007-03-06T19:42:00.000-05:00as a parent living in moville i prefer to know wha...as a parent living in moville i prefer to know what my kids are doing.<BR/>i watch with them.<BR/>Lost, Heroes<BR/><BR/>Deal or no deal.<BR/>all the harry potter movies.<BR/><BR/>those who close it off should know their kids are going elsewhere to get it.<BR/>are you better off?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-32168470273019128762007-03-06T17:54:00.000-05:002007-03-06T17:54:00.000-05:00You are absolutely right. This has always been a p...You are absolutely right. This has always been a pet peeve of mine. I was allowed to talk to guys when I was in HS and most of my interaction was in the neighborhood or even (gasp!) in my own home, with my Mom always knowing who I was talking to. But the girls whose parents didn't let them talk to guys were doing way worse things than talking, in hiding.SaraKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08053908720926177402noreply@blogger.com