tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post1813846704488980347..comments2023-10-30T08:40:59.016-04:00Comments on Wolfish Musings: Should I Have Gotten Up?BrooklynWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-48392402680860275022008-03-26T15:13:00.000-04:002008-03-26T15:13:00.000-04:00I'd have motioned that she could sit down next to ...I'd have motioned that she could sit down next to you if she liked.Ezziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12494592434522239195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-29745061435177881902008-03-24T13:50:00.000-04:002008-03-24T13:50:00.000-04:00I remember learning in seminary that it's no probl...I remember learning in seminary that it's no problem to sit next to a man on a bus (and I remember that I was shocked :-) ). I like chareidi's suggestion...stand up, and then sit down on the other seat! In reality though, I probably wouldn't have gotten up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-46019754690595798142008-03-21T18:39:00.000-04:002008-03-21T18:39:00.000-04:00if you stood up, she might have thought you wanted...if you stood up, she might have thought you wanted to dance with her and that would be mixed dancing and would be assurAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-18692278607285958642008-03-20T08:20:00.000-04:002008-03-20T08:20:00.000-04:00Was this what was bugging you?Was this what was bugging you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-17384907884354884002008-03-19T20:13:00.000-04:002008-03-19T20:13:00.000-04:00Was this old lady efrum? Or even Jewish?Was this old lady efrum? Or even Jewish?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-71370078420413315812008-03-19T19:03:00.000-04:002008-03-19T19:03:00.000-04:00Look at it this way.Had you gotten up,the old lady...Look at it this way.Had you gotten up,the old lady might have died of shock,so by remaining seated you were mkayem "pikuach nefesh"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-39637045875318736822008-03-19T13:35:00.000-04:002008-03-19T13:35:00.000-04:00i agree with Chareidi's comment up top ;-)i agree with Chareidi's comment up top ;-)Steg (dos iz nit der šteg)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07694556690190505030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-76841884085376920022008-03-19T03:47:00.000-04:002008-03-19T03:47:00.000-04:00You did nothing wrong. There are infinite preceden...You did nothing wrong. There are infinite precedents in both halacha as well as "Gedolim stories" that one is not to inconvenience another due to one's chumra observances.<BR/><BR/>Rabbi Ari EnkinRabbi Ari Enkinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02014076795997393407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-65124659236718567282008-03-18T21:58:00.000-04:002008-03-18T21:58:00.000-04:00>sitting between 2 men might be >worse.Not true. I...>sitting between 2 men might be >worse.<BR/><BR/>Not true. It's walking that's a problem. Who said sitting is a problem?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-14553212028149848972008-03-18T21:55:00.000-04:002008-03-18T21:55:00.000-04:00If you are sitting at someone's table and they bri...If you are sitting at someone's table and they bring out a food that it is not your custom to eat, do you make the hostess take it back to the kitchen or do you simply not take any of the dish? If this woman's custom is not to sit next to a man, you are not achiv to join her in her custom. If she puts herself into the position where the possibility exists that she may have to sit next to a man then it is for her to stand. Keep in mind that she chose her action. You have nothing to feel guilty about.ProfKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-74403722863079610292008-03-18T20:12:00.000-04:002008-03-18T20:12:00.000-04:00Very tough call.> On the other hand, if it's merel...Very tough call.<BR/><BR/>> On the other hand, if it's merely a chumra (or perhaps not even that), then am I responsible for her decision to keep this chumra? <BR/><BR/>What if it is a chumrah but she doesn't know that or she lives in a world that does not understand the distinction?<BR/><BR/>I see some comment about BMI. Sorry for asking, but do you take up more than your share of a seat?Baal Haboshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12861222390091673835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-62181766389079436572008-03-18T19:59:00.000-04:002008-03-18T19:59:00.000-04:00I would've done the same exact thing.I would've done the same exact thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-17565023655038996592008-03-18T17:01:00.000-04:002008-03-18T17:01:00.000-04:00You could avoid the issue and help your BMI quest ...You could avoid the issue and help your BMI quest (are you still on it?) by taking a bicycle to work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-19920584783174589422008-03-18T15:18:00.000-04:002008-03-18T15:18:00.000-04:00sitting between 2 men might be worse.sitting between 2 men might be worse.Moshe Klasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14271484425259073843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-44753520358088582672008-03-18T15:05:00.000-04:002008-03-18T15:05:00.000-04:00R. Moshe Feinstein says that it is mutar for a man...R. Moshe Feinstein says that it is mutar for a man and woman to sit next to each other on the subway and/or bus. But those who hold that it is assur are of the view that it is a serious issur.<BR/><BR/>However, knowing where Wolf lives, I don't think that the woman refused to sit next to you because of any issur. Maybe if you lived in Boro Park or Williamsburg.Gil Studenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12776831546758682126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-52230271667839000142008-03-18T13:15:00.000-04:002008-03-18T13:15:00.000-04:00I say you did right by not getting up. No one has...I say you did right by not getting up. No one has a right to be frummer on someone else's cheshbon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-43904484680131454422008-03-18T11:45:00.000-04:002008-03-18T11:45:00.000-04:00I don't think you were under any obligation to giv...I don't think you were under any <B>obligation</B> to give her the seat. There's no halacha that says a woman can't sit next to a man on a public bus. I mean, think about it. Is it just sitting? What if the bus had already been full and you were standing and holding a pole or a strap, and the only empty space was to <B>stand</B> next to you? what would she have done then? If you weren't obviously Jewish and Orthodox, would this have been an issue? What if the only empty seat had been next to an obviously non-Jewish man? Would she have sat? Or, would she have just stood and suffered in silence because she wouldn't "expect" a non-Jew to intuit her "need" for the seat? Where does it end? This isn't shul, or a wedding (don't get me started on that). This is HER mishegass, not yours, and you needn't get sucked in. There was a perfectly good empty seat available, and she made a choice not to take it.<BR/><BR/>If I were you, I wouldn't lose any more sleep over it.Nice Jewish Guyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08143569412761938449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-9616261200261752802008-03-18T11:28:00.000-04:002008-03-18T11:28:00.000-04:00It's too bad we don't live in a world where people...It's too bad we don't live in a world where people politely can say how they feel instead of giving looks. She could have said: "Would it be possible for you to give me a seat?", but she didn't. I can't think what you could have said to make the situation easier.Leorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12303493764579879710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-13451828234491021452008-03-18T11:06:00.000-04:002008-03-18T11:06:00.000-04:00Don't think so much, there could have been dozens ...<I>Don't think so much, there could have been dozens of reasons for the look:)</I><BR/><BR/>Oh, I know that. It could have been that she didn't like my snout. :) But once my mind starts playing these "what if" games, it gets very hard to stop.<BR/><BR/>The WolfBrooklynWolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-29527597055935206832008-03-18T10:56:00.000-04:002008-03-18T10:56:00.000-04:00Don't think so much, there could have been dozens ...Don't think so much, there could have been dozens of reasons for the look:)Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08512231582715592098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-59348483016841298372008-03-18T10:24:00.000-04:002008-03-18T10:24:00.000-04:00I think it would have been nice to offer her the s...I think it would have been nice to offer her the seat, but I see no moral obligation that says you had to or that you should feel bad that you did notRafi G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00699851287106903971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-23000896859290990042008-03-18T10:19:00.000-04:002008-03-18T10:19:00.000-04:00You should have offered her your seat and then you...You should have offered her your seat and then you could have taken the seat next to her. :)<BR/><BR/>btw, I trust you've seen the new "shaitel crisis" brewing.<BR/><BR/>http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/General+News/15670/Out+Of+The+Mailbag+-+To+YW+Editor+(Jewish-Press+Crisis).htmlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com