tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post7582238089246831125..comments2023-10-30T08:40:59.016-04:00Comments on Wolfish Musings: Frum People Don't Kiss or Hug Their Spouses...BrooklynWolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-63428398389383177422010-09-29T13:21:33.657-04:002010-09-29T13:21:33.657-04:00Reminds me of the five year-old who asked his moth...Reminds me of the five year-old who asked his mother where babies come from.When his mother answered,"the stork",the kid said,"yeah,I know all that.But who has sex with the stork?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-79272953212961458442010-09-27T23:53:30.395-04:002010-09-27T23:53:30.395-04:00Inexcusable? I still don't see people making o...Inexcusable? I still don't see people making out as something shocking. Am I missing something? Or does making out in the frum world mean something more than what it means in the secular world?mlevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01831542484906424230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-55681623597645382352010-09-27T20:53:55.496-04:002010-09-27T20:53:55.496-04:00Let's not excuse the inexcusable behavior of t...<i>Let's not excuse the inexcusable behavior of the young neighbor couple who left their very private matters be displayed in public.<br /><br />Inexcusable.</i><br /><br />Dave,<br /><br />No one is excusi9ng them -- but it should be pointed out that based on my reading of the post on Imamother, this was simply an accident -- where they forgot to close the shades. It doesn't sound like they are serial exhibitionists or intended to do this in view of the public.<br /><br />The WolfBrooklynWolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-33157804321630496292010-09-27T16:38:04.606-04:002010-09-27T16:38:04.606-04:00Yes i am. Sorry. I should have clarified it.
Mala...Yes i am. Sorry. I should have clarified it.<br /><br />MalachHamovies !!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-45634848002244637002010-09-27T14:45:11.648-04:002010-09-27T14:45:11.648-04:00>This is a private manner as well !!! It takes ...>This is a private manner as well !!! It takes 10 seconds or less. <br /><br />I assume you're talking about locking the door? :)e-kvetcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11235994048517019317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-11875448475370991842010-09-26T09:56:17.984-04:002010-09-26T09:56:17.984-04:00I love when people ask the idiot question "wh...I love when people ask the idiot question "what if your kid walked in on you ". <br /><br />Do they walk in on you when you're in the bathroom ????? No. Because people lock the bathroom door !!!<br /><br />This is a private manner as well !!! It takes 10 seconds or less. Lock the damn door !!!<br /><br /><br />From the MalachHamovies !!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-41890432193335809452010-09-22T09:36:38.034-04:002010-09-22T09:36:38.034-04:00Yes, one CAN generalize: there is NO way that it i...Yes, one CAN generalize: there is NO way that it is good to lie to a child about this: the lying approach to chinuch is wrong, and the content of this lie---that affection between man & wife is sinful---is so very wrong.<br />This little repressed-fanatic-in the-making is 12 years old, for G-d's sake! She's old enough to learn about boundaries, right-time-&-place, etc.---everything need not be totally Good or Evil. At 5 or 6, my kids (& plenty of others) were being told--and using the term themselves--- "That's not appropriate."... they may not get all the nuances of the word, but they totally 'chap' the basic concept that something may not be wrong but is merely improper for a certain age/time/situation. It's funny how frum folk tend to hold that we're oh-so-much-smarter than goyim, but we constantly dumb things down, invariably thinking 'the oilam' is incapable of distinguishing basic shades of grey.JRSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-39832460152101898652010-09-22T01:28:46.905-04:002010-09-22T01:28:46.905-04:00How could the girl be that sheltered? I see teens ...How could the girl be that sheltered? I see teens making out on the streets all the time (before and after school)? Besides how could two people making out disturb an innocent girl? Make her curious I understand, but disturb? <br /><br />I think that either neighbors were doing more than just making out or these parents continuously drilled into the girl's head that all love and affection between sexes is sinful so she was shocked to discover frum neighbors do it.mlevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01831542484906424230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-91420754936375591082010-09-21T18:50:03.340-04:002010-09-21T18:50:03.340-04:00Let's not excuse the inexcusable behavior of t...Let's not excuse the inexcusable behavior of the young neighbor couple who left their very private matters be displayed in public.<br /><br />Inexcusable.Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-56219532960072983902010-09-21T18:22:35.217-04:002010-09-21T18:22:35.217-04:00"In the olden times women had to 'leave&#..."In the olden times women had to 'leave' the house for a week and wear special clothes. Whatever did the little kids think the reason was."<br /><br />And more importantly, who took care of the kids while they were gone? ;)Tzipporahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08807511259582331073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-42228709090069395982010-09-21T10:59:32.862-04:002010-09-21T10:59:32.862-04:00In the olden times women had to 'leave' th...In the olden times women had to 'leave' the house for a week and wear special clothes. Whatever did the little kids think the reason was. The rabbis made a special takana that an orphan girl under age could marry. A boy of nine could 'be' with his 'dead brothers' wife unmarried. This idea of today of 'hiding' does not seem to be Jewish at all.hagadahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07700099589624251463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-39207042565306365712010-09-21T09:22:45.558-04:002010-09-21T09:22:45.558-04:00The father is speaking lashon hara about the neigh...The father is speaking lashon hara about the neighbors and his wife, is m'zayef the Torah hakedoshah, Rachamana litzlan, and is causing the daughter to suspect both the mother and the neighbors. And what is the girl going to think of Yitzchak and Rivka when she gets to that section of Chumash?<br /><br />And what is the supposed good that will come of this? I suppose the point is to keep her from making out before marriage, but what about after she is married? This is kind of like telling a child Jews don't eat to make sure the kid keeps kosher. You need to teach the child to distinguish permitted from impermissible food. Same here.Mike S.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-41226129424671768972010-09-21T07:43:52.600-04:002010-09-21T07:43:52.600-04:00Apparently this girl is so sheltered, they don'...Apparently this girl is so sheltered, they don't teach her basic parts of chumash either (Gen 26:8).Jennynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-43515723216391149092010-09-21T03:36:21.712-04:002010-09-21T03:36:21.712-04:00The father is not saying its 'wrong'. He i...The father is not saying its 'wrong'. He is saying its 'wrong' that his daughter knows about it.<br />No one has mentioned the chumash that Avimelech saw Isaac having some kind of relations with Rivka through a window.<br />I suppose it really depends on the girl. One cannot generalise, it may be better now for her not to know and think the neighbours are chilonim. I suppose they are doing other things 'wrong' as well otherwise she wouldnt believe the parents. So its not such a 'big deal' to call them that for this although of course it isnt.<br />In the gemoro one sees girls (and boys) indulged in these things at a very young age so its not a halacha at all that a girl or boy must not know about these things.hagadahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07700099589624251463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-60124760581711554692010-09-20T20:36:56.554-04:002010-09-20T20:36:56.554-04:00"This man is reacting to today's culture,..."This man is reacting to today's culture, not from any religious perspective."<br /><br />beg to differ. You may claim the father's view does not accurately reflect the enlightened views of daas Torah (and that would be your subjective opinion)---but in any case, wrong or right, this guy holds those views from his religious perspective, just as Islamic terrorists do what they do because of their religion despite 'moderate' Moslems protesting that "That's not what Islam is about". (it's just an analogy!)<br />And this guy's perspective on frumkeit is far from unique; he's just another misguided, frummer-than-the-Torah chasid-shoyte---they're as common as... new chumros in Lakewood.JRSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-81339494900867952022010-09-20T20:26:45.276-04:002010-09-20T20:26:45.276-04:00The neighbors were in the privacy of their home. ...The neighbors were in the privacy of their home. It would be a grave injustice for the daughter to have a negative opinion of them when they have done nothing wrong. The mother needs to call a Rav about this.Keren Heninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00128324034170011280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-50333665858883194412010-09-20T19:26:52.855-04:002010-09-20T19:26:52.855-04:00What S. said.What S. said.Ezziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12494592434522239195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-76841996129067730622010-09-20T18:13:50.529-04:002010-09-20T18:13:50.529-04:00When I was in fifth or sixth grade, our Rabbi brou...When I was in fifth or sixth grade, our Rabbi brought a doctor in to talk to us about marital relationships. I think this is the appropriate way to handle it since it exposes the children to this right before their hormones go into overdrive and it is guided in an appropriate fashion. Plus, we were learning gemara and obviously you need to know about this stuff when learning gemara so it doesn;t just jump out at you.E-Manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06327848648278849664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-50826201998074267192010-09-20T17:51:36.423-04:002010-09-20T17:51:36.423-04:00> Well, it wouldn't happen because we alway...> Well, it wouldn't happen because we always lock our door.<br /><br />"We're not like those Catholics. We can use precautions."<br />"Like what, lock the door?"<br />(Monty Python, the Meaning of Life)Mighty Garnel Ironhearthttp://garnelironheart.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-85198954668682862692010-09-20T15:02:55.004-04:002010-09-20T15:02:55.004-04:00Anon,
Obviously, I did think it was worth it. I&...Anon,<br /><br />Obviously, I did think it was worth it. I've commented on individual opinions before.<br /><br />Dave,<br /><br />Well, it wouldn't happen because we always lock our door. But let's suppose it did anyway. The answer is that it depends, of course -- but I would never lie. <br /><br />I think most nine year olds can understand at a basic level that Mommies and Daddies have ways of loving each other in private, that it's perfectly normal and that he will understand more as he gets older. I would NEVER, on the other hand, tell him that it was dirty or wrong or something that only "chilonim" do. And I would always leave the door open (pun intended) for questions (although I may not answer every question in detail).<br /><br />In addition, a twelve year old is far different than a nine year old. A twelve year old shouldn't be lied to about sex -- and certainly not about something as common as hugging and kissing.<br /><br />The WolfBrooklynWolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-32624506360337809692010-09-20T14:55:37.194-04:002010-09-20T14:55:37.194-04:00Wolf -
What would your reaction towards your chi...Wolf - <br /><br />What would your reaction towards your child be, if he walked into intimate marital relations when he was 9 years old? How would you explain it to your 9 year old?Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-65268307513019429072010-09-20T14:48:55.256-04:002010-09-20T14:48:55.256-04:00Was it worth it for you to write up this whole pos...Was it worth it for you to write up this whole post because of one man? It's one thing when you don't agree with a whole segment of people, but one man? I'm sure there are a lot of individual people with crazy opinions you don't agree with.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-31309748860996684652010-09-20T13:36:03.451-04:002010-09-20T13:36:03.451-04:00My, how awkward. I wouldn't want to be in thes...My, how awkward. I wouldn't want to be in these parents' shoes - when I first became "aware" when I was a kid I thought it was the grossest thing in the world. <br /><br />But once upon a time the world wasn't so Victorian about this subject. Children knew everything (and I mean everything) from a very young age, simply due to the culture that didn't see that information as repugnant; it's how the world works. It's in the Torah, for pity's sake.<br /><br />This man is reacting to today's culture, not from any religious perspective. The parents shouldn't lie (at least not about this; there are other things to lie about), nor should they let this child think the worst of their neighbors. It's a bad precedent.English Majornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-60401671719439006672010-09-20T13:10:55.337-04:002010-09-20T13:10:55.337-04:00S.
Agreed 100%!
The WolfS.<br /><br />Agreed 100%!<br /><br />The WolfBrooklynWolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03994285019137108636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11425059.post-68400444545220822422010-09-20T12:38:44.130-04:002010-09-20T12:38:44.130-04:00The good news: every single poster, except for the...The good news: every single poster, except for the original one, thought it was handled all wrong.S.http://onthemainline.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com