On Shabbos, on my way home from shul, my son and I stopped over at the house of the new neighbors I had written about earlier. The Mrs. of the house greeted us at the door. After a pleasant "Good Shabbos," I extended an invitation to them for the following Shabbos. Since her husband was not home yet (my shul lets out very early) she did not accept on the spot. Since my wife passes by her house each day to drop my daughter off at her bus stop and she sees her do this daily, we left it that she and my wife would talk.
Today she and my wife talked. Part of the conversation related to the fact that the Mrs. told my wife that she felt that many in the neighborhood were not very friendly. She commented that people look at you funny if you dress different, or use a different tablecloth, etc. All the while, my wife told me, she was feeling somewhat uncomfortable, considering that we were guilty of just this attitude. The Mrs. of the house also told my wife that she felt that we were among the friendlier families in the neighborhood.
In any event, I guess that means that we're on the right track. And they accepted the invitation.
The Wolf
10 comments:
well done.your openness is inspiring.
WTG(way to go). What does that say about your community? kinda sad
Thank you daat and dilbert.
It's interesting you mention my openness daat... I've been posting on message boards for over five years, and on those boards I post with my real name. That's because I generally believe in openness and not hiding behind a pseudonym.
When I started this blog, I considered making my identity public at the outset, but decided against it for the time being, until I become more comfortable with espousing these controversial topics.
But, nonetheless, I don't mind telling about myself and my life. I've already revealed quite a bit about myself in my blog over the last three months and if anyone I knew read these blogs, I'm sure they'd have no trouble picking me out in a minute. As such, I'm not terribly concerned about being outed.
We'll see how things go. If I become more comfortable in this enviornment, I may well go public and ditch this whole "cloak-and-dagger" game. It's something I'd really like to do, as I've done in other forums. But I think I need just a little more time.
The Wolf
Just a word of caution, Wolf. Once you ditch your cover, you can't go back, and you may find yourself walking on eggshells because you won't know if your neighbor or your rabbi or your son's teacher is reading your blog.
Things i have learned. It's still possible to be insightful, but you will find yourself dulling your edges.
there is something nice about being able to write, "knowing" that no one really knows who you are. I just started writing on my own blog (well mine and my Fiance's) and I know that there are things I will add only because of the safe feeling (even if it a false feeling) that no one knows who I am.
I would be a lot more carefull in a community like yours. From what I have learned so far about communities that you live in (I hang out in a lot of similer circles - due to my army service in the IDF Charedi unit -"Netzach Yehuda") and I see the way ppl are treated when they "step out of line"
in any event, I enjoy reading what you have to say, and hope that it all works out with your new neighors, and maybe you will be the one to help them into the community.
Shabbat Shalom from Israel,
-OY
Thanks for the kind words, Oleh. Have a good Shabbos!
The Wolf
Can you explain the tablecloth thing? I've seen this used as an example of Orthomadness before--"They wanted to know the color of the tablecloth his mother used before considering him for a shidduch"
When you talk about women covering their hair, I know what you're talking about. When you talk about men never wearing jeans or colored shirts, I know what you're referring to.
But what is this tablecloth question even asking? Do people care about color? Or fabric? Or whether it's embroidered? Or whether they have a special Passover tablecloth? Do people care if it's covered with a plastic tablecloth? Or whether layers are added or removed on Shabbos?
I keep hearing this tablecloth reference, and I'm perpetually confused by it...
I've heard rumors to the effects of that the "proper" tablecloth to have on your Shabbos table is a plain white one. Anything less than that is looked down on.
I don't know if this is fact (i.e. that there's a substantial portion of the community that holds these views) or if it's just one to two overblown stories or just a Jewish urban legend. I've never found confirmation of these stories (although, to be honest, it hasn't been the single focus of my life either. :) )
The Wolf
Wolf -- I've been off the boards the last week but I wanted to to tell you when I saw the comments form this post: don't out yourself.
Being anonymous does not dilute your credibility. You're writing about good things and they're instructive simply because you're placing these ideas into words.
Hiding your identity won't change that, while disclosing it may prevent yuo from keeping it real, as you do.
Last, I enjoyed your update about your new neighbors. It sounds like you're a really great person to live near. I just hope the rest of your neighborhood doesn't put you into cheirim for doing the right thing.
Thank you for the comments everyone.
As I mentioned earlier, I've been posting on message boards using my real name and identity for the last five years, so some of this cloak-and-dagger stuff seems... odd to me.
But, it may be best as you all put it, that I am better able to express my true feelings if I didn't have to worry about who was reading this blog. So, I suppose, I'll keep it secret for now.
Now, I just have to try to keep a straight face when a friend/relative says to me "Hey, you've got to read this blog by this Wolf guy..." :)
The Wolf
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