Tuesday, July 05, 2005

On Deconstructing Heshy

I know, I know... it's like shooting fish in a barrel, but someone's gotta do it. :)

I was looking at the header of Heshy's blog. It reads as follows:

We discuss why as Jews we oppose: abortion-on-demand, euthansia, evolution, gay incestuous & bestial marraiges, gun control, life on other planets, radical feminism, spaying & neutering of animals & women in combat. As Jews we support: death penalty, mandatory uniforms in public schools, seperate gender public schools, school vouchers, voluntary prayer in public schools and a strong U.S. defense.

Now, I was thinking that he is not so far from my beliefs after all. Let's take a look at what he opposes and see if I disagree with it:

Abortion on demand
OK, I agree that abortion on demand may be a bad thing. Especially for men. So, no abortions for Heshy.

Euthenaisa
I, however, am in full support of euthenasia. Feed them.

Evolution
I agree with Heshy here too. We must oppose evolution. Of course that means that we should all not bother getting new flu shots this coming winter, since last year's will still be effective.

Gay incestuous & bestial marraiges
I support Heshy on this 100%. No man should be allowed to marry a dog who happens to be his male cousin.

Gun control
I support Heshy here too. After all, the right to bear arms is written right in the Talmud.

Life on other planets
Again, I agree with Heshy. Life should only exist here. If we find life on Europa, or elsewhere, we should wipe them out. And, while we're at it, let's wipe out the Rashi to Shoftim (Judges) 5:22.

Radical Feminism
Yes, I believe that it is proper to oppose radical feminists like SCUM.

Spaying & neutering of animals & women in combat
Once again, I must agree with Heshy 100%. Women and animals should not be spayed and neutered in combat.

As for the things Heshy says Jews should support:

Death penalty
I suppose Heshy thinks that the opinions in the Gemara which state "If I were on a court, the death penalty would never be applied" are not Jewish.

Mandatory uniforms in public school
I agree with Heshy 100% here. After all, if my kids, who don't go to public school have to wear uniforms, so should everyone else. Next, let's start charging public school parents tuition...

Seperate gender public schools
I agree with Heshy here too. Since he undoubtedly holds that women shouldn't really be too well educated anyway, I'm sure that his "separate but equal" idea will work fine. After all, historical precedent in this country has always shown that SBE truly produces equal results.
Besides, my kids are in separate gender schools. So, if my kids aren't getting any, neither should anyone else's kids.

School Vouchers
Once again, I agree with Heshy. The city/state/federal government should fund the Mormons, the Catholics, the Protestants, the Shia, the Sunni, the Hindus and the Satanists.

Voluntary prayer in public schools
Of course this is a good thing. When a traditional Catholic wants to mention the "perfidious Jew" it shouldn't be a problem, right? When the Satanists want to (voluntarily, of course) draw pentagrams on the floor, this shouldn't be a problem, right?

Strong U.S. Defense.
(Sorry, no comment -- I truly do agree with Heshy on this one. Hey - even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while).

So, folks, I say that we welcome Heshy with open arms. After all, his views aren't truly too different from our own, as I've shown.

The Wolf

22 comments:

Mis-nagid said...

Rashi on Judges 5:20 is way better.

Mississippi Fred MacDowell said...

I'm convinced Heshy is a parody. Although there may be one or two Daniel Lapin types* among the chareidim, its so rare

*By that I mean people who aren't just vaguely against gay marriage and for "morality" but mamash Rush Limbaugh Republicans.

BrooklynWolf said...

I'm referring to the Rashi on the verse "Arrur Meroz..." If I numbered it wrong, my apologies.

The Wolf

Mis-nagid said...

Arrur meroz is 5:23, and has nothing to do with extraterrestrial life. My point is that given the view Rashi espouses in 5:20, ET clearly wasn't on his agenda.

Mis-nagid said...

MFM, Heshy is very, very real. Nuttier than a peanut farm, but real.

BrooklynWolf said...

Mis-nagid,

Doesn't Rashi there identify Meroz as a star? And the verse says it has inhabitants.

I don't have a Nach in front of me. What does Rashi say at 5:20?

The Wolf

Mis-nagid said...

In 5:23 Rashi says Meroz is either a star or a person. Clearly he does not interpret inhabitants as inhabitants of a person. In fact, he specifically explains in the interpretation of "the inhabitants thereof" that it means within the person's daled amos. You're projecting your modern understanding of stars as distant suns onto Rashi's primitive worldview (astroview? cosmosview?).

In 5:20 Rashi goes into detail about the firmament dome that was imagined to be holding back the waters behind the sky. He "shows" how from this posuk we derive that the thickness of the firmament is equal to the height between heaven and earth. He also says that stars are in the firmament, and that they are exactly as long as the firmament. Thus, it's very unlikely that Rashi thought that there was extraterrestrial life -- because he didn't know that there was extraterrestrial anything.

dietgarage said...

very cool.
haha - a riot.

Anonymous said...

The seperate-sex public schools would actually be for the benefit of girls and the boys would lose out. Sociologists' research (at least in the '90s)showed that girls performed overwhelmingly better academically in a single-sex classroom. Plus, mandatory uniforms in schools (esp. for the lower socioeconomic stratus) provides a relief to the pupils as not feel so self-conscious and have an easier time focusing on their lessons rather than their appearance, style of dress, etc. Uniforms can also keep those spoiled bratty kids from making the other ones feel like they don't dress cool enough. Stange as it sounds, uniforms offers more freedom for developing minds.

Anonymous said...

Wolf, you have a sense of humor.

Avi said...

Avi said... What a difficult heading I picked. "Only the truth" Do you realize how difficult it is to dig out the truth from the mountain of lies that the truth is buried underneath. I read the comments on President George Bush. They call him a liar. So what? Bill Clinton was also a liar " I did not have sex with that woman" Does anybody tell the truth anymore. I know a rabbi ( no names mentioned) who does not know what the word truth is. Thats ok, there are plenty of preists who also dont know what truth means. One of the names of God is " Emes" which means truth. That is probably the ultimate truth. That there is a God . The world belongs to someone. The world has an owner.

BrooklynWolf said...

Mis-nagid,

Fair enough. That's what I get for trying to post from memory.

Thanks for the compliments, dietgarage and anon.

BrooklynWolf said...

Avi,

Thanks for the comments, but I don't see how they pertain to the post at hand. Did you perhaps mistakenly post on the wrong blog?

The Wolf

Krum as a bagel said...

I got the identical post from avi as well. Still trying to figure it out. Maybe his computer is possessed.

Mis-nagid said...

That's what I get for trying to post from memory.

No biggee. I had to look it up too.

Every time I relearn something I learned before I recovered from frumkeit, I'm amazed at how effective my cognitive dissonance was back then. How the heck did I not research the firmament? It's exactly the kind of thing that would interest me. I clearly remember hearing the word several times, but immediately pushed it out of mind. When I ask the "frummies in the mi(d)st" what the word means, they've heard the word but don't know why it's used or what it refers to -- just like I once didn't. It's freaking depressing.

Enigma4U said...

Wolf,

Shkoyach! I thought I had long overdosed on Heshy's religious fundamentalism, but you managed to resurrect some hilarity out of his tiresome dogma.

Anonymous said...

http://heshyshouse.blogspot.com/2005/07/more-on-why-jews-oppose-bill-cosby.html

Anonymous said...

http://heshyshouse.blogspot.com/2005/07/more-on-why-jews-oppose-bill-cosby.html

Orthoprax said...

I'm pretty sure that these "anonymouses" are Heshy. As well are many of the cheerleaders and lame anonymous detractors on Heshy's blog. He's talking to himself.

Not very surprising.

BrooklynWolf said...

Heshy,

I removed your post because it contained nothing more than an advertisement to spend Shabbos with you. If you want to debate issues, your posts are more than welcome. But I will not allow you to simply advertise on my blog space.

The Wolf

Ben Avuyah said...

Great Post Wolf,

I am going home tonight to look up that rashi, isn't there also one where he discusses the "Nephilim" as beings that fell from the sky. That's from memory I can't remember the location or specifics. but it sounds almost extraterrestrial or at least extra atmospherical.

Also, Krum and Wolf, I got the exact same post from Avi I think he's carpet bombing the blogoshphere.

Warren said...

Obviously the point of Devorah cursing the inhabitants of Meroz was so that they would be wiped out. But before we worry about aliens on Europa, first we need to take care of the animals of the Galapagos Islands. Heshy, those two guns in the picture (http://heshyshouse.blogspot.com/2005/07/summer-fun-upstate-new-york.html) probably aren't enough.