I saw this on the End The Madness Boards, posted by Tali.
I recently tried to fix up Avraham* with Tzivia*. The two of them sounded reasonably suitable on paper, and seemed to have workably compatible personalities.
Avraham said yes. Tzivia said no.
Why not?
Because, GET THIS: Tzivia thought that it was inapropriate for a bochur to be talking on the phone to me, a single girl. So she flatly refused one of the most quality people I have ever been privileged to know.
What gives???
Now, I don't know what Tzivia's problem is. After all, had Tali been a married woman, then Avraham's "sin" would be far worse -- imagine a yeshiva bochur talking to a married woman on the phone. And certainly, Tzivia would consider it just as inappropriate for a girl to talk to a single or married man who is trying to set them up with someone else.
So, according to Tzivia, it seems that the only acceptable way to make a shidduch is via a married couple where the wife gets the girl and the husband gets the guy. Any other method is "inappropriate."
*Sigh* And the madness continues.
The Wolf
Sounds like Avraham* dodged a bullet. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI agree. The system worked out fine. Tzivia disqualified herself immeidately ande clearly, leaving Avraham free to find a more suitable prospect.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the book "I'm OK You're OK" calls conversations on this type of topic "ain't it awful."
She's an idiot. And she's going to end up with an idiot. It all works out. Sigh.
ReplyDeletedoes your wife know you are reading end the madness boards?
ReplyDeleteI don't know... although I'm fairly sure she will as soon as she reads this.
ReplyDeleteIn any event, so what? Just because I'm already married doesn't mean that I don't have an interest in the subject of shidduchim. I do post fairly frequently on the subject... and Chananyah's site is a great source of information on the madness that is our shidduch dating system.
The Wolf
You're absolutely right. She is insane.
ReplyDeleteYa, she's nuts, but again, as I always say, this isn't just about shidduchim. The woman is simply following the idiotic hashkafa that she's been taught in today's frum society. End The Madness shouldn't be about ending the madness related to shidduchim. It should be about ending the madness in frum society in general.
ReplyDeleteBut there isn't a problem with the shidduch system, right?
ReplyDeleteI would NEVER fix her up again.
ReplyDelete"In any event, so what? Just because I'm already married doesn't mean that I don't have an interest in the subject of shidduchim."
ReplyDeletei was just kidding around (i thought the ETM boads were for people looking for shidduchim).
shabbat shalom
(on an unrelated matter, there is a good rashi on trope this week
http://agmk.blogspot.com/2007/08/baal-kore-alert.html#links
are people who are that stupid capable enough to get married and build a family?
ReplyDelete"So, according to Tzivia, it seems that the only acceptable way to make a shidduch is via a married couple where the wife gets the girl and the husband gets the guy. Any other method is "inappropriate.""
ReplyDeleteHow is it poaaible that a system this sophistiated and well-thought-out could be failing so miserably?
Oy! I guess we need to say even more tehillim.