Monday, October 23, 2006

A Nice End to the Bar Mitzvah Se'udah

Last night was the Bar Mitzvah Se'udah of my oldest son. It was (if I may say so) a nice affair - the music was good, the number of people was small (by New York standards, anyway) and the food, as I was told, was delicious. Since no one likes to listen to speakers, we kept it at a minimum - I spoke for about four minutes and the Bar Mitzvah boy spoke for about five - and that was it. I spent some time at all the tables on the men's side and managed to spend "quality time" with just about all the guests.

The downside of that was that I really did not get a chance to eat too much. I ate part of one course with some friends, part of the barekas with family members, part of the main course with an old rebbe of mine from elementary school who I've kept in touch with (he was the Bar Mitzvah boy's sandek thireen years ago), and desert with my sister's father-in-law and his son-in-law (my brother-in-law's brother-in-law [or, as I like to say, my brother-in-law once removed]). But, in reality, I didn't eat much of anything.

By the time we got home, we were exhausted. Kaput - and it was only about 9:30 (we started earlier because we wanted to have kids at the se'udah and have people stay as long as possible). Not too much longer after we got home, I got into my sleeping attire (pajama bottoms and a T-shirt - don't ask) and was ready to settle in for the night. However, before I was going to do that, I was going to get something to eat - we brought home food and I was hungry!

Before we actually started eating, I asked my wife if Rabbi & Mrs. Neighbor were there, since I didn't see them. We were expecting them to come (Mrs. Neighbor had even done Eeees's makeup for the affair), but, in the end, neither one of us had seen them. As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Before she even got up to answer the door, Eeees smiled and said "it's them." Sure enough, there they were at the door, dressed up, wishing us Mazel Tov. (I quickly threw on a pair of pants over my pajama bottoms!) They had another simcha to go to (a family vort,[engagement party] suddenly called) and apologized for not being there. We invited them in, offered them a chance to sit down. At that point, I said "Listen, I was about to eat something from the Bar Mitzvah since I really didn't get a chance to eat. Why don't you sit have something too?" So, we brought out the challah rolls, the barekas, the potatos and the chicken and served another meal. The Bar Mitzvah boy joined us as well. As we washed and started to eat, I remembered that the musician had given us a CD he recorded at the end of the affair; so I pulled it out and put it on the stereo. The Bar Mitzvah boy said his speech again and he and Rabbi Neighbor even danced for a while (I was all danced out by that point)!

Afterwards, we had dessert and bentched (how many Bar Mitzvah boys can say that they led in bentching twice on the night of their Bar Mitzvah se'udah?) and they went on home.

In truth, however, although I was ready to plotz before they came, that portion of the evening became one of the highlights of the day. It was nice to have a chance after all the hustle and bustle and greeting and shaking hands and music and photographers and everything else that went into it, to have a chance to sit down with friends and just have a simple pleasant meal. It definitely beat sitting in my pajamas in front of the TV with the chicken. We got to immediately reminisce some of the highlights of the evening and share and laugh about the good (if exhausting) time we had.

It was truly a nice end to the Bar Mitzvah day.

The Wolf


queeniesmom said...

MAZAL TOV! May you and your family enjoy many more Simchot. Glad you were able to enjoy the food after the fact; this seems to be a common problem for the Balai Simcha. Maybe you should start a new trend (minchag?) - time out to eat?

Ezzie said...

Things are a little different where I grew up. (Or were, anyway.) Everything we had was on Shabbos, much like most everyone else did. We had a big "dessert" Friday night after the meal, and a kiddush Shabbos morning after davening. Everything else was simple, with just family for the meals (plus my classmates Shabbos day, and maybe a few close close family friends).

The simplest affairs are the ones worth remembering. Perhaps a different minhag than QM's: simpler smachot that would save a lot of money.

(I don't mean this in a critical way at all, btw.)

Pesky Settler said...

Mazal tov you guys, from all of us. You know I really wanted to be there, but well, Baruch Hashem our excuse for not coming in is a happy one.

My grandmother will be returning to the US in I think 2 weeks and she'll have the Tefillin holder with her.

Orthonomics said...

Mazal Tov and only simchas.

Anonymous said...

Mazel tov. We're planning our son's bar mitzvah now (in March) Most of it will be Shabbos, though I would like to have a buffet for the melave malka to give a chance for his friends to come. I'm not making sleeping arrangements for nearly 20 boys on top of all the relatives I'll have to have put up. But I'm not planning on videos and am inclined to skip the musician.

and so it shall be... said...

Mazel Tov!!! Sounds like a beautiful event!!

(both, I mean)

Anonymous said...


Lion of Zion said...

mazal tov.

mother in israel said...

Mazal Tov!! May you have a lot of nachat from your son. We had three bar/bat mitzvahs within three years! It's hard to decide what to do.

Shoshana said...

Mazel Tov! Sounds like you had a full day of beautiful celebrations.

PsychoToddler said...

Mazel Tov! The custom out here is just to have a kiddush in the shul, and we're more than happy to go along with that.

Mazel Tov again!

Gil Student said...

Mazel tov. I guess I represented the blogosphere at the simcha so, on everyone's behalf, let me say that we all enjoyed it and the food was great. And thanks for the short speeches.