Far more important than her father's yichus
Are her own middos
Far more important than how long her father will support you financially
Is whether or not she'll support you emotionally
Far more important than her mother's dress size is
Is whether her smile causes your heart to flutter
Far more important than what color table cloth her parents use at the Shabbos table
Is what she talks about at the Shabbos table
Far more important than what elementary, high school or camp she went to
Is what schools and camps she wants to send her daughters to
Far more important than the second cousin twice removed might be off the derech
Is whether she is committed to raising a home filled with Torah values
Far more important than the Torah knowledge you plan to impress her with
Is showing her that you can relate to her on an "everyday" basis.
Far more important than her words towards you
Are her actions towards the strangers around her
(Yes, most of the above could be reversed and be equally applicable women as well... I just felt like writing it from only one side.)
Bas Talmid Chochim.
Bas Talmid Chochom may indeed be important.
But do you think it's *more* important than her own middos?
Anyways, I was pointing out something you left out.
There were lots of things I left out. I didn't feel like spending two months composing the post. :)
Note that the first line of every couplet are things you can ask in advance. Whereas the second line of the couplet are things you'll only know by meeting.
Conclusion: the shidduch system has you prescreening people based on the less important things that go into a marriage, ruling out possible candidate that you could have had a happy and meaningful life with.
Excellent Post! This should be required reading for all young men and women and parents of those in the shidduch process, and even for some old time married folks to remember what's important.
Don't people look at those indirect qualities because they don't get a chance to get to know the woman?
my #1 question: how do her parents treat eachother?
sad that you have to spell it out...
Well sad. Will have to second that it is quite sad that these simply truths must be spelled out.
From your mouth to everyone's ears.
My favorite is the one where after the date, you get back to the parking lot and find your car missing (your buddy moves your car). The reactions are priceless and very informative. For best results try this in the middle of the winter.
Post a Comment