Rabbi Chananya Weissman is the director of End The Madness, an organization dedicated to combating the angst and hardships associated with dating in the religious Jewish community.
You would think that in these days of the Shidduch Crisis, people would be doing anything (within reason, of course) to facilitate people in their goal of getting married and not throw additional artificial and unnecessary roadblocks in their way. And yet, as Rabbi Weissman reports in this week's Jewish Press, that's exactly what is happening. What are the new rules?
As he writes:
...new minhag in the shidduch world has been widely implemented: a younger sibling is forbidden to pursue marriage until all older siblings have been spoken for. If the younger sibling is not comfortable with waiting, he or she must ask for permission from the older sibling to date. If the younger sibling is successful in finding a shidduch, he or she must then ask for forgiveness from the older sibling.
Rabbi Weissman rightly trashes this new "minhag"in his piece. Personally, I just can't fathom why people want to put additional roadblocks in the way of people who want to get married. If a person (of marriageable age, of course) finds their bashert, they should go forward. There's no reason to toss the bashert aside simply because an older sibling hasn't yet found theirs.
Yet another reason that the world of shidduch dating needs a major overhaul.