Don't Leave Little Kids Alone... Even Just For A Minute!

Vos Iz Neias is reporting that a Boro Park couple was arrested in New Jersey for leaving their two year old daughter alone in a car while they went into the mini-mart there.

I would think that most rational people understand that it is simply wrong to leave little children alone in a car for any length of time. It doesn't matter if it's "only two minutes." It doesn't matter if the kid is sleeping and you don't want to wake him/her up. It doesn't matter how safe you think the area is. It's simply wrong... period.

What I find amazing is that there are commentators on VIN who seem to think that it's perfectly acceptable to leave your child in the car if a parent needs to go to the bathroom or run into the store to pay gas, etc.

It doesn't take very long for someone to break into the car and either kidnap a child or steal the entire car (kid and all). The same people who leave their kid in the car would never leave a computer, a wallet or an open bag of cash on the front seat, but think nothing of leaving a child strapped in.

One commentator on VIN tried to make the point that the analogy of a child to a valuable item or cash is flawed since a child (unlike the other items) has no value to a common thief. That may be true - but a child certainly has value to a child molester or a kidnapper. And the car itself has value to a car thief who may take the car not caring or even realizing that there is a child strapped in the back.

It never ceases to amaze me how irresponsible some people can be with regard to their children. Back in April 2006, I posted about a similar event that happened to me personally.

It was Chol HaMoed Pesach and I was at the Museum of Natural History with my kids. The kids had taken a bathroom break (my kids are older and can go to the bathroom by themselves) and I was waiting outside. While I was there, a frum man comes over to me, asks me to watch his four or five year old daughter, and goes into the bathroom. I did the guy the favor, but afterwards I thought about it -- how did he know that I wasn't a kidnapper? Just because I had a kippah on my head, was wearing a white shirt and had four days of beard growth didn't mean that I wasn't a danger to his daughter. While he was in the bathroom, I could have simply ran off with her and who knows what could have happened. Fortunately for him, I'm not that sort of person -- but he didn't know that. How could he be so irresponsible as to leave his kid with a total stranger?

The Wolf

(Image credit: Ihasahotdog.com. Hat tip: Zach Kessin.)

The REAL Cause Of Our Problems

On Vos Iz Neias, Rabbi Hoffman writes about last night's meeting in Boro Park to address some of the troubling headlines of the last few weeks. In his article, he makes some valid points about the fact that in many segments of our community, education is discouraged to the point where some people find it very difficult to earn a living. This lack of education, Rabbi Hoffman suggests, is a vital part of the troubles we are seeing played out in front of us. I think that Rabbi Hoffman has some very valid points, but I fear that the problem is far worse than a lack of education.

The problem, sadly, is that we are failing in our mission to internalize the Torah's lessons. Saying that a lack of education or poverty is not the answer -- after all, there are plenty of people who are poor and uneducated among the non-Jews who struggle in their lives and yet don't resort to crime.

Sadly, it seems that we have gotten our priorities wrong. We worry more about whether or not someone wears a hat and/or jacket to davening than if they commit welfare fraud. We care more about the color of people's shirts than whether or not they deal honestly with their fellow man (Jew or non-Jew). We place more emphasis on enforcing the minutiae of tznius (and no, I'm not saying that tznius is not important) than with the lav of Lo Tignovu. In short, we're too busy worry about the leaves on the branches to see that the tree has become rotten in the core.

What we really need to do is to completely reorder our society. We need to stop focusing on the externals and focus on doing what is good, right and what the Torah expects of us. We have to learn to deal justly and honestly with everyone - Jew and non-Jew. We have to focus on being able to be proud of the fact that your dealings are honest -- and the fact that people in our community are not ashamed or embarrassed when they are not.

Yes, education is a step in the right direction -- but if one's ethics are rotten and one's moral fiber is wrong, then all education does is produce smart thieves. We have to change not just our minds and our schools, but our souls as well.

The Wolf

Embarrassed To Be A Jew...

I remember a time back in the early eighties, when I would sometimes wear a baseball cap on my head so that I couldn't be identified as an Orthodox Jew. The reason for that was because, at the time, a kid of my age and build was liable to get beaten up by some of the tougher elements of the street for his religion. Of course my mother wasn't happy with it, but at the same time, I believe she understood the necessity. As time went on, it seems, the need for hiding lessened... and eventually I no longer needed to hide my religious affiliation.

After Ma'ariv last night, a fellow at shul was talking about some of the recent allegations of criminal activity that have been going on in the Orthodox Jewish world. Right on the heels of last week's arrests in Brooklyn and New Jersey, we had yesterday's news of mail thieves and welfare frauds who were arrested and publicly identified.

The man to whom I was talking to, a ba'al teshuva, told me that, because of all the recent scandals, he was becoming so embarrassed of being identified as an Orthodox Jew that he was considering a baseball cap to and from work. He was at the point where he no longer wanted to be visibly identified with Orthodox Jewry because of the recent actions of his co-religionists.

It's sad when someone has to cover up their religious identity out of necessity because he fears physical attack. But it's far worse when a person wants to hide it willingly out of embarrassment.

Something to think about.

The Wolf

Lessons To Be Learned

By now, just about everyone in the Jewish community has heard about the events that occurred yesterday. I was going to blog about the arrests, but then thought better of it, as there were already a thousand different bloggers covering every angle of it and there really wasn't much more that I felt that I could add to the conversation. I don't know all the facts, although I tend to think that the FBI doesn't engage in two-year sting operations just to nab innocent guys off the street.

That being said, I think we can all agree that this is a major embarrassment for the Jewish community in the Tri-State area and worldwide. And, in the end, it just didn't have to be.

There are those who want to say that (at least some of the accused) did it to support Torah or tzedaka organizations. I don't know how naive these people are being -- perhaps it is true for some of the accused, perhaps it's not. But for the sake of argument, let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say that the money was primarily going towards charity or the support of Torah organizations. So what?

I think it behooves people to learn that no matter how noble the emotion, no matter how right the cause and no matter how urgent the matter, there are just some lines that one cannot cross. Consider, for example, an organization that helps people finance Yeshiva tuition for needy families. The people who are in charge of fund raising for the organization would probably move heaven and earth to help young children receive a Torah education. If they could move a huge mountain to raise funds, they would do so. But they have to know that while moving that mountain, they have to stop at the small stone that serves as a boundary marker onto their neighbor's property. Once you move that small stone, you're engaging in theft, which is wrong and cannot be tolerated for any noble purpose.*

So, by all means -- if it's your job to raise money for tzedaka or Torah institutions, make sure that you do so honestly. Do everything that you can within the law, but make sure you stay there.

And that advice doesn't apply to this situation alone. It applies anywhere and everywhere. If, for example, it's your job to make the lives of Jewish prisoners easier, by all means do so -- but don't step over the line of what is proper and right (and certainly don't obliterate the line). And on and on.

I always find it amazing that people who engage in these activities (again, going with the [perhaps naive] assumption that they had "good intentions") end up doing far more harm than good. The institutions that they sought to raise funds for will certainly end up suffering far more harm than if they didn't engage in their activities. And the life for Jewish prisoners in NYC certainly didn't become any easier after Rabbi Glantz left his job because of the bar mitzvah party held for a prisoner's son. Indeed, because people broke the law (or ethical boundaries), those people and institutions that they sought to help are going to end up suffering even more.

Of course, the big question that we have to ask ourselves is, what now? What do we, as a community, do now? We pay a lot of lip service to the idea of trying to rectify our mistakes. We learn that the Second Temple was destroyed due to the sin of baseless hatred, so we pay a lot of lip service to the idea of improving on that defect (although, how much we actually improve is certainly open to debate). We learn that the sin of the Spies was due to the sin of Lashon HaRah, and so we seek to improve ourselves in this area.

So, what do we learn from yesterday's events? What can we do to improve? What can we do to try to ensure that something like this doesn't happen again?

A friend of mine said that the likely outcome would be this:

What we'll see is a bunch of spokesmen issue statements about how bad these alleged crimes are, which will get little media coverage and will be totally ignored internally. Nothing in the community will change. We will go on with our lives and the community will move on to the next crisis.

Sadly, I fear he may be right... but it doesn't have to be.

A while ago, a young man that I know got himself into some fairly serious trouble. Things looked very bleak for him at the time and he turned to me for help and advice.

While there wasn't too much that I could do at the time to help his situation, I gave him the following common-sense advice: I told him that when things are really looking down, and when the world is falling apart, it behooves a young man such as himself to take a look at where he is, and look at the path that he took which led him to this point. He should take the opportunity to look at his deeds, his actions and his motivations and take a long, hard look at himself and see where he went wrong, and what he can do to stop going down that road. Sometimes you just have to look in the mirror, no matter how painful it is, and actively work towards fixing your problems.

I think the same applies to us as a community. I think that we need to address problems that we've long turned a blind eye to. We have to look at the behaviors that we've tolerated for the sake of personal prestige or for financial contributions and recognize that we were wrong for having tolerated them. We have to make a positive commitment that those behaviors that will no longer be tolerated in our community. We have to make sure that people know that financial misdeeds, child abuse, and a host of other problems that we have long ignored will no longer be tolerated and that those who commit them cannot be welcome in our communities.

It's a difficult thing to do. It means deviating from the path of least resistance and taking the hard path of standing up to people who are rich and/or influential. It means that our leaders have to do just that -- lead -- by example and by deed. If a rav will publicly stand up to someone who is corrupt and rich and say "no, I don't want your filthy money!" it would go a long way toward sending the message that these activities are wrong and will not be tolerated.

But someone has to stand up and be the first. A recognized leader has to step up and make that initial effort. Someone has to make that initial effort -- that opening the size of an eye of a needle. And it has to be one of the gedolim -- because someone who takes a difficult but correct stand, someone who leads and serves as a role model for others -- that, in my definition is a gadol.

I fear that my friend may be right -- that nothing will come of this and we'll just go on to the next crisis. But nonetheless, I hope and pray that we can learn from this and take the necessary steps to improve as a community.

The Wolf



* Yes, pikuach nefesh and all that -- but we're not talking about someone like Jean ValJean whose nephew was going to literally starve unless he stole.

Red Shoes

I learned a new Photoshop skill yesterday.

Canon XSi, 100mm macro lens
f/2.8, 1/800 second

As always, comments, critiques and criticisms are welcome and appreciated.

The Wolf

Previous Photos:
Foot In Hand
Brooklyn Bridge
Smile!
Ducks on Golden Pond
April Showers
The Tranquil Road In the Marsh
Are You Looking At Me?
Sunset Over The Hudson
First Day of Spring
Duck Again!
Llama -- an Unorthodox Picture
Yellow Flower
Koi
Panorama: Empire State
Borei M'Orei HaAish
Orchid
Floral Macro: How Close Can You Get?
Shutter Speed & Light Trails on the Brooklyn Bridge
On The Wings of Gerber Daisies
Sometimes, an Out-of-Focus Shot Works Well Too
The Ghosts Of Grand Central
Third Night
Shooting From A Different Angle
Duck!
Gargantua
Sunflower Arrangement (discussion of lens apertures and depth of field)
Empire (basic discussion of lenses)
Hovering Bee
Sunflower Macro
Statue of Liberty
Trinity Church, September 11, 2008
Manhattan Tulips
Dragonfly

Oh, The Irony Of It All...

On ChabadTalk, there is a discussion going on regarding the authorship of the prayer Nishmas Kol Chai, which is recited on Shabbos mornings. The general consensus of the posters in that thread seems to be that Shimon ben Shetach wrote the prayer.

However, it seems that there is an old Christian legend that the prayer was written by Paul (Saul) of Tarsus. That legend is discussed in the thread as well.

During the course of the conversation, someone made the following comment about Paul:

I have also heard it said that this Saul/Paul was actually sent by Chazal on a mission to make Yushkie-worship a completely different religion so that it could not be confused with Judaism.

I highly doubt that that legend is true. However, there just seems to be something very ironic about such a statement coming up on a Chabad message board. I wonder how long before some of the anti-Yechis believe the same thing about some of the Meshichists.

The Wolf

This Is It... The BEST Reason To Discard Science....

From this DovBear thread:

What if one day these scientist prove that the Torah is correct. It'll be too late to get those who went off the derech back. Science always seems to be giving conflicting information.

Man, sometimes the stupid just hurts.

The Wolf

Hand In Foot

It's been a while since I've posted any new photos. I've been too busy (or lazy... take your pick) to go out and do much shooting of late.

However, I did recently attend a Pidyon HaBen and, of course, I brought my camera and made a pain of myself. :)

Canon XSi, 18-55mm lens at 55mm
f/5.6, 1/20 second

As usual, comments, criticisms and critiques are welcome, appreciated and encouraged.

The Wolf

Previous Photos:
Brooklyn Bridge
Smile!
Ducks on Golden Pond
April Showers
The Tranquil Road In the Marsh
Are You Looking At Me?
Sunset Over The Hudson
First Day of Spring
Duck Again!
Llama -- an Unorthodox Picture
Yellow Flower
Koi
Panorama: Empire State
Borei M'Orei HaAish
Orchid
Floral Macro: How Close Can You Get?
Shutter Speed & Light Trails on the Brooklyn Bridge
On The Wings of Gerber Daisies
Sometimes, an Out-of-Focus Shot Works Well Too
The Ghosts Of Grand Central
Third Night
Shooting From A Different Angle
Duck!
Gargantua
Sunflower Arrangement (discussion of lens apertures and depth of field)
Empire (basic discussion of lenses)
Hovering Bee
Sunflower Macro
Statue of Liberty
Trinity Church, September 11, 2008
Manhattan Tulips
Dragonfly


(P.S. -- Yes, I'm aware that I screwed up the title -- it should be "Foot In Hand." Oh well...)

Now, This Is The Right Way...

The Jerusalem Post reports that thousands of Chareidi kids protested and rallied in Jerusalem against the parking lot in Jerusalem that is open on Shabbos.

This protest, however, was peaceful. They marched, they rallied, they said tehillim and they blew the shofar. In short, they made their point without resorting to violence and making a chillul HaShem.

If I'm going to criticize when people make a Chillul HaShem, I have to also acknowledge when they try to correct the error and make (IMHO) a kiddush HaShem. Good job!

The Wolf

They Will Be Held Accountable

In the comment thread to yesterday's post, Off The Derech took me to task (unfairly, IMHO) for excusing Lakewood residents for some particularly nasty letters that have come out of the community in the last week. While I thought I was being fair and even-handed there, I will admit to OTD that I do sometimes try to give people the benefit of the doubt, even if it's not entirely deserved.*

Last year, I posted about people in Jerusalem who throw stones at cars on Shabbos, or take extreme measures to enforce tznius rules and the like. I really wanted to believe that their hearts are in the right place and that it's only their actions that are misguided. I really did want to believe that. And so I posted that the people who engaged in these actions were causing far more harm than good. By throwing stones at cars on Shabbos, they weren't encouraging even one person to keep Shabbos -- on the contrary, they were further pushing people further away from Shmiras Shabbos.

A number of my commentators on that post made the point that the people involved in these activities aren't interested in kiruv, but rather in "reinforcing" their own position. I suppose, deep down, I knew they were right, despite my desire for it to be otherwise. And yet, perhaps naively, I held out hope that perhaps my commentators were wrong.

Well, at this point, I'm no longer willing to let myself be played the fool for them. I've read about the protests that have occured, sometimes violently, over the last two weeks in Jerusalem - and I'm convinced. Sad to say, I'm have to finally admit to myself that the people who are protesting Chillul Shabbos in Jerusalem, by and large, do not really care one whit about Shmiras Shabbos.

If they truly cared about Shmiras Shabbos, they would take the appropriate actions to see to it that Shabbos was kept by as many people as possible. If they truly cared whether or not people outside their own little community kept Shabbos, they would engage in outreach and show people who drive on Shabbos the beauty of Shabbos. If national Shmiras Shabbos was truly their goal they would try to make a *positive* example.

Instead, however, they are doing the opposite. By protesting in a violent manner, they are (knowingly, IMHO) pushing people further away from Shmiras Shabbos. By engaging in the destruction of property, they are telling unaffiliated people that those who keep Shabbos are hooligans -- and very few people want to join a gang of hooligans.

I'm a *very* patient person -- sometimes to a fault. I also try to give people the benefit of the dobut -- again, sometimes to a fault. But at this point, I feel that my patience has been stretched beyond it's limit. There comes a point when I have to believe that people are acting disingenuously -- when their stated goals are different than their true goals. At this point I can no longer believe that those who claim to care about Chillul Shabbos actually do so -- because they are ultimately causing more Chillul Shabbos by their actions.

I always believed (and still do) that our goal was to encourage observance of the mitzvos. I believe that HaShem wants us to bring people *to* His service, not push them away. Unless someone can logically show me that the protestors believe that their actions will cause non-observant Jews to become observant (and do so convincingly) I'm forced to conclude that furthering observance among the non-observant is not their goal.

If people truly cared about Shabbos, they would protest in the way that Rabbi Yosef Haim Zonnenfeld used to protest. One time he heard about a store that was opened on Shabbos. So, what did he do? Did he gather his students to throw rocks at the store window? Did he begin to act violently? Did he threaten the store owner? No. What he did was to grab a chair and head down to the store with a Tehillim. He sat at the entrance to the store and began to recite tehillim. Eventually, the store owner came to understand the importance of keeping the store closed on Shabbos. Rabbi Zonnenfeld knew the proper goal -- to get someone to willingly keep Shabbos -- and he chose the appropriate actions to accomplish that goal. At one time I believed that those were also the goals of the people who protest in Jerusalem -- but I no longer believe so.

It's taught in Judaism that there are three days of Judgement. There is Rosh HaShannah, when we are judged for our actions over the previous year. Then there is the day of death, when we are judged for our actions over the course of our lifetime. Then there is the final Day of Judgement. One can rightfully ask, what's the point of the final Day of Judgement? It's not as if the person did anything different between the time of his death and the final Day of Judgement. He didn't do any additional mitzvos nor did he commit any additional aveiros. So, what's the point of the judgement?

I heard an answer (and sadly, I don't remember whose answer it was) that on the final Day of Judgement, we aren't judged only for our actions, but for any effect our behavior had on history. A rebbe may only teach one generation of children, but if those children grow up and raise Torah-observant families and part of the reason is because of that rebbe, and further generations keep the Torah and observe the mitzvos because of the actions of that rebbe, then he gets the benefit of that in the final Day of Judgement.

Sad to say, but I believe that when the final Day of Judgement comes around, not only are the violent protestors going to be held accountable for their own actions, but also for the fact that they pushed people (and, potentially, their children, children's children and so on down the generations) away from Shabbos observance (and Torah observance in general). At some point, they *will* be held accountable for the Chillul Shabbos that they have caused and will be causing for years and generations.

The Wolf


* And, yes, OTD, that goes for everyone, not just frum people.

Is There Something In The Water In Lakewood?

I'm left to wonder if there is some mass-xenophobia outbreak going on in Lakewood. Two troubling letters have appeared in the past week from the Lakewood community -- and both are troubling not because of what they describe, but because of the writer's attitudes.

First this letter from a Lakewood resident decrying the non-yeshiva Orthodox Jews who moved in and "ruined" Lakewood.

Now, this letter from "A Sheitel Wearer" who complains about Lakewood women who wear snoods (or other non-sheitel head coverings). To her, they aren't "dignified" enough.

Both letters have one disturbing element in common - they are written by people who look down at others and decide that they aren't good enough to be seen around town.

The Wolf

(Note: I also want to leave open the possibility that either or both letters may be fakes. I don't know what sort of process Matzav or Lakewood Scoop uses to screen their letters.)

ADDENDUM: OTD seems to think the above is "making excuses" for the Lakewood residents. I view the above note as a disclaimer. What's your opinion? Feel free to comment.

The Wolf

Am I The Only One Not Bothered By This?

Vos Iz Neias has an article about some new rules that are being adopted by twenty hotels in Israel in the hopes of attracting more chareidi guests. Among the rules are:

• No TV (unless requested, but see below for more on this)
• No Internet unless it's a married couple
• No viewing of the swimming areas from the rooms
• Tznius dress for hotel staff
• Separate bars for men and women
• Separate beds in the rooms (or an additional bed to be added)

As you can expect, the article generated a few responses. Among them are:

And the Talibanization of Israel begins. Personal responsibility is no longer an option: The hotels must make those weighty choices for its guests.

in the words of the great Bob Grant "they are sick and getting sicker"

Insane.

Most of the comments are about the regualtions and how silly some of them are.

I agree that a lot of the rules are silly (what's the difference if a person is married and want to access the Internet?), but that's not really the point. Truth be told, I'm not terribly troubled by this.

I think that this was simply a business decision made by the owners of the hotels to attract a different sort of clientelle. They want to attract more chareidim to their establishments and are willing to give up the guests (and their money) who would not stay in a resort such as that. If they guessed correctly, then they will thrive, or else they will have to abandon/modify their policies or go out of business.

As long as the policies are clear to a person making a reservation, and as long as there are alternatives for those that want them, I don't really see why this is a big issue -- it's a business decision -- no more, no less.

As an aside, I found the following rule particularly laughable:

"The television equipment will be disconnected, at the very least by removing the cable and closing it away in storage, as well as disconnecting the central control in reception, such that no one can turn it on. The television itself will be covered or closed in a closet. A guest who does not observe the Torah and mitzvot, or someone who claims he has a television at home and his looks prove this, will be directed to a rabbi who will authorize that he be connected to the television."

I'm curious -- how can you prove someone has a TV in their home just by looking at them?

The Wolf